I GOT MY BUTTER TODAY. I has the Ninja Jazz and Blue Sword shirts. BOO AND YAH, WITH A SIDE OF KAHSHAAAAA. My GOD, they are even more gorgeous than they look on the website, and SO SOFT IT IS LIKE PETTING A SMALL PURRING KITTEN. AJSJGB;SAGBJ;KSBG;KJBJAG;KBRJWAK BUTTER.

I missed the tribute to Humphrey Lyttleton this morning (I was watching Frasier) and I’m going to miss the repeat, so I must do Listen Again asap. But it is Wednesday, and Wednesday means Property Ladder and Child Genius. I LOVE THOSE SHOWS. All the tiny little McKays, and oh, Sarah Beeny and those folks who NEVER LEARN TO BUDGET PROPERLY. OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE ESTIMATES FROM? NO YOU CANNOT KNOCK THROUGH THOSE WALLS AND CREATE A NEW BEDROOM IN EIGHT WEEKS. WHAT ARE YOU ON, MAN?

…other people shout at the TV during sports. I shout at the TV during property shows. What? What, what, I’m middle-class, what.

And then I am going to shower and have CLEAN SHEETS and it will be glorious.