it’s THRILLING HEROICS:30, y’all

April 12, 2009

because seriously, wtf.

Filed under: homophobia — jayangel @ 9:38 pm

Amazon Rank


January 25, 2009

quick music rec + cat pictures

Filed under: music,pets — jayangel @ 6:28 pm
Tags: ,

Kate Hewlett, an actress whose work and twitter I have long enjoyed, has a song up on the internet! “Grey Suit Collar” is a lovely, lovely song, guitars and two voices. The kind of sound I want to burrow down in for warmth. Mmmm. Go! Listen! Bask! Tell her she’s awesome!

In other news, the cat I mentioned in my last post has started coming over every evening. The towel on the sofa (don’t ask) has been designated his domain, and he also likes sitting on my feet and purring loudly. We took pictures! Some of them involve me in a hoodie, because King Oswald Pengvin needed scritches and I am but a willing member of staff.

Those paws never stop moving!


January 21, 2009

it is for balance. and also hugging.

Filed under: pets — jayangel @ 11:01 pm

We has a kitty! Well, he’s not ours, he’s obviously well-fed and has a home, but he stands outside sometimes crying to be let in. He’s been here these past two evenings, in the warm getting pettings and exploring the flat. We named him King Oswald Pengvin, and he’s black-and-white, mostly white with what looks like black anime hair, black patches down his back and a black tail. He kneads the fuzzy throw on the bed in the weirdest way; folds himself in half, back arched steeply, kneading with both back and front paws. He does this without pause, moving slowly around, and if he sits down it’s not anywhere he’s spent the past ten minutes flattening. I sometimes wonder if his reasoning would drop 40% if he kneaded like normal cats. He purrs while flicking his tail (and hugs with it too), stares about with wide yellow eyes, and does not use cat language the way any cat I’ve ever known has. He does understand the signs for “You are welcome here”, “If you keep asking for food we’ll have to put you back outside in the cold”, and “Would you like pettings?”, and he says “Hi I like you” and “You may stroke me now” and “This is interesting” and “Mmm, warm and comfy” mostly like normal, but he simultaneously says other things that make no sense, like “I like you!” at the same time as “Puny rodent, you will be mine, MOO HA HA!” I find this difficulty to understand him rather distressing, to be honest, because that … sort of thing distresses me. I keep thinking he’s going to pee on my bed, because he keeps saying he’s about to pee on my bed, only what he means is either “I’m thinking about sitting down” or “Ooh, fuzzy”. He never goes still, oh my god, even Fangy goes still if you do. But he is precious omg and a kitty and so nuzzly and it’s adorable that he’s a bit mad. I hope his owners don’t mind him disappearing some evenings, when he’s round at ours. He might come round less often when it warms up and outside is full of interesting smells and places to explore, but I hope he decides to come over once in a while whenever. He is lovely, if difficult for me to get a handle on. ♥kitty♥

January 15, 2009

so hey, i should actually use this blog, yeah?

Filed under: people — jayangel @ 5:26 pm

The Boy in-person tagged me for this, and so! Here is my I-would-so-hit-that-mmmm list. There is only one man on it, because I am a giant queermo. And in a way it’s good that most female celebrities are skinnier than I go for, because if all the women on this list put on a stone or two and were nicely average I would not be able to be coherent. I might be trying to hump the screen. Or … something less creepy. Um. A couple of these pictures are NSFW, just to warn you.

15. Rick “Sav” Savage
He is so unutterably precious, willingly wears makeup (and looks like a sophisticated older woman when he does so), plays bass, had foofy hair in the 80s (WHAT I LOVE FOOFY HAIR) and generally looks like a girl. He is also from Yorkshire, and did I mention precious? Because he is precious. Also v v v hot, mmm yesplz. &Sav;

14. Valarie Rae Miller
She played Original Cindy in Dark Angel, it bugs her when straight actors make a big deal about playing gay characters and how it wasn’t a big deal at all for them (then why, she asks, are you talking about it?) and prior to her acting career she was a stand-up comedienne. She took a course in stand-up comedy. Did I mention also that she is smoking hot? Because *paws at*

13. Sandra McCoy
She is TINY and PRECIOUS and so bubbly and sweet and really gorgeous and can I steal her for my own, please? *sighsigh*

12. Cat Deeley
Oh, oh Cat. She is absolutely gorgeous, and totally unafraid to make a fool of herself on live national television. She’s really funny and lots of fun and really hot, mmmm.

11. Myleene Klass
She’s a classically-trained pianist who blends classical and pop; I much prefer when she goes straight classical, like her Toccata, but anyway: she is gorgeous and lovely and I want to cuddle her. *hearteyes*

10. Naoko Mori
I don’t watch Torchwood, but Tosh is precious, I know that much, and Naoko is adorable. And so, so gorgeous, gah. *paws at her*

9. Rachel Luttrell
Teyla is badass and awesome, and Rachel, oh man. She is full of snark and mischief and smiles and I love her lots and gah, she is so ridiculously hot *__*

8. Eliza Dushku
What can I say that isn’t keymashing? She’s stunning, she’s kickass, she’s got mad ice cream skillz, she encourages Joss to give her character lesbian scenes, I am so looking forward to Dollhouse, and just, &ELIZA;

7. Amanda Tapping
LOOK AT THAT SMILE. She is gorgeous and funny and mischievous and gorgeous ajkabjgb;bga;kgbjr;g

6. Morena Baccarin
I have reached the point in this list where I struggle for coherence. Just — just — she’s lovely and so beautiful and and *paws*

5. Freema Agyeman
Martha needs in my pants, like, yesterday. But Freema, oh Freema, she’s so adorable and beautiful and I heart her. *chinhands*

4. Jessica Alba
When she was regularly going to church (RCC), she had problems with its stance on homosexuality. That, right there, would be enough to make me love her if she hadn’t already won my heart by being generally adorable and so sweet and oh, did I mention beautiful? Because she’s beautiful. *gazes adoringly*

3. Evangeline Lilly
She swears like a sailor, climbs trees, looks for bugs, is both feminine and a tomboy at the same time, is staggeringly gorgeous and sweet and Canadian and and *PAWS AT*

2. Kim Smith
When she went on a photoshoot this one time when she was nineteen or so, she couldn’t decide which teddy to take with her so she took THEM ALL. She is so adorable I can hardly stand it, and omgsogorgeous, and why isn’t she my girlfriend? Tragic.

1. Geri Halliwell
I’ve had a crush on her since I was, what, thirteen? Possibly since I was twelve. One look at those big blue eyes and I just want to hold her and tell her she’s beautiful and do everything I can to make sure she’s never unhappy. I just, I just, I adore her and she’s so beautiful and and *drops chin to hands and gazes in adoration*

People who didn’t make this list, because the meme says fifteen: Miranda Otto, Kate Winslet, Delta Goodrem, Erika Toda, Halle Berry, and Amber Benson. And probably some more I’ve forgotten. In conclusion: I like women.

August 22, 2008


Filed under: comedy — jayangel @ 2:11 pm

I find it ironic that the day a joke about self-harm wins the Fringe Funniest Joke award Chortle also posts an article about why bad jokes are greeted with hostility.

Uh huh.

The Fringe’s third funniest joke is actually funny, which makes a change from the ones with first and second place. (Victoria Beckham Is Thin! jokes? Still? Is there not new material to plunder? I mean, it was kind of funny when it was still, like, news, but it’s been how many years now and really, there isn’t anything better than “Hey, that Beckham woman? STILL THIN! Hahaha, I know!”?)

Anyway. The actually funny joke goes: “My girlfriend said “Did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?”. “Yes,” I said, “but a gun is easier to conceal”.” A+, Lloyd Langord!

August 21, 2008

links to things

Filed under: comedy,music — jayangel @ 10:37 am
Tags: , , ,

Madina Lake have an Iron Maiden cover up on their myspace, and a) I LOVE THOSE PRECIOUS BOYS, and b) I really like this cover. Mmm, metal.

In a musical 180, Phil Collen playing Turn It Up acoustic! I am a huge, huge sucker for acoustic versions, Turn It Up is one of my favourite Man Raze songs, and basically there is no way I would not love this. ♥ (The video for the electric version is here. See up Phil’s nose! Woo?)

And in news that made me distress all over my breakfast, Stargate: Atlantis has been cancelled. There will be a series of TV movies much like the SG-1 straight to DVD ones, and. I — it just — WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME, SCIFI? ;____________________; RONON ;___________________;

To cheer myself up, can I talk for a second about how fricking adorable the Benns are? Because every single one of them is darling. *draws hearts*

Not a link, but — today, I discovered that even the name Meyer unconnected to (*pause for hiss*) Stephenie (*continue hissing*) makes my eye twitch.

August 20, 2008

hello, blog. it’s been a while.

I said I’d be back when offline life stopped eating me, and it kind of has. Let’s see, let’s see, what’s been going on since May…

  • moved out of Dad’s, stayed with a friend in Yorkshire for a month
  • saw Def Leppard live and was totally blown away
  • moved in with my boyfriend \o/
  • got financially screwed over by the government; still taking steps to sort that
  • …that’s, er, kind of it. CFS still kicking my ass.

In the news that is other, I am currently reading Temeraire (since retitled His Majesty’s Dragon) by Naomi Novik and am rather in love with it; I’m still immensely fond of The Cab and keep playing their album on repeat; and somebody needs to tell Mitch Benn to stop being so adorable, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

May 17, 2008


Filed under: health — jayangel @ 7:47 pm
Tags: ,

As though in accordance with M.E. Awareness Month (as if I weren’t aware enough of it already) the CFS has decided to rear up and attempt to eat my face off. In a … metaphorical way. I don’t know, it just involves a lot of napping because my body seems to simply stop working and shut down. I’m thinking of it like a reboot, my systems are overworked and overheated and I need some downtime. Something.

Anyhoo, this and some massive life stuff coming up means I need to break up with the internet for a while. I’ll email the commenters on my healthy privilege post from my sidekick, and check gmail when I can, but basically, I am AWOL, except … this is my leave, so I am AWL. Which sounds like an owl who thinks something is cute. Hee.

…I have two house-moves and a massive soul-sucking government form or two to deal with, so um, see you when offline life isn’t eat me ♥

May 11, 2008

never thought i would say the following, but — GOOD CALL, FOX.

Filed under: comedy — jayangel @ 7:01 pm
Tags: ,

I swore to myself I wouldn’t post again until I’ve answered comments — I can hardly believe the amazing response to my healthy privilege post, I promise I will email the commenters as soon as my hands stop yelping in protest at me — but I just saw this on Edgar Wright’s blog and I had to post.

McSpaced is a no-go.


May 4, 2008

note: personal view ahead. larger issue skipped.

Filed under: health — jayangel @ 12:26 pm

This post is amazing. AMAZING. There are Criminal Minds spoilers, so for the link-lazy or if you don’t want the spoilers, the gist is this: the Hollywood Ideal of physical “perfection” touted in magazines and media is damaging to both sexes, and the poster is told she’s weird for finding skinny men a turn-off. She likes David Hewlett over Joe Flanigan, to give one of her examples. And I am SO WITH HER ON ALL POINTS.

I was a naturally skinny kid, right up until I hit eight and a half, started a new school year, and the entire class (my whole grade, for a non-UK translation) sided with the new boy when he said I had germs and should be avoided. The only friend I managed to keep made fun of me in public, but was nice to me in private, and all in all I figured people will turn on you if you let them in, so it’s best to put barriers between yourself and other people so they won’t want to get close, and they can’t hurt you if they aren’t close to you.

So I started comfort eating. I put on weight and put on weight and withdrew inside a physical fortress, and it worked. Nobody at school wanted to be friends with the fat kid, social outcast or not. I was safe. I didn’t let people get close after that (except one, who was totally awesome) and I didn’t get hurt. It was the perfect plan!

…except that I ended up dangerously obese, had some warning signs, and decided it was time to start eating healthily again. I chose taking better care of myself over having a barrier; ten years on, I was ready to maybe open up a little and let people in again. So I stopped comfort eating, and dropped five stone (70 lbs) in a year and a half, and I was getting closer to people again…

…and then Mum died. And I shut down, switched to auto-pilot, and watched myself go through life, doing things and saying things and being someone who was a bad-quality photocopy of myself. The weight loss stalled, because I needed that barrier again, but it didn’t increase. Just stayed the same. I lost a total of 10 lbs in the ensuing four years, which is how long it took to make the bad-quality photocopy slowly a better-quality photocopy, and then a painting, and then a photograph of myself, and some time near the end of last year I took the driver’s seat again. Last spring I made myself mentally healthy; after that, I dealt fully with the rest of the grief and let it go. And since then, I have wanted to lose the rest of the extra weight, because I don’t want or need that barrier there any more, but especially because I’m still overweight, still carrying around that extra mass, and when I get back to a healthy weight, a) having less to carry around will give me more energy, and b) if one thing about my body is healthy, it will give me more ammunition to throw at the CFS. My only problem now is that I can’t lose weight; I’m not exercising, and while I’m slowly improving my diet I still can’t eat a proper healthy one, because my body can’t digest everything a healthy diet needs. I take supplements and drink litres and litres of water every day and I’m not putting on any weight, my diet while poor and not varied is at least balanced to include protein, carbohydrates and vegetables, so I mean. There’s nothing really I can do until I have the energy to at least do some yoga. But it’s okay; first I’m concentrating on surviving this year and moving house twice, after that I’ll start building up my weaponry. Being a healthy weight will be a huge boon for my arsenal.

And I have to say that I don’t understand wanting to lose weight to be part of an ideal. My reasons for losing weight are always, always about health. I just don’t get it — and that doesn’t just go for weight loss. I don’t understand looking at a magazine and comparing yourself to the people in it and feeling bad because you’re not them. I … I don’t get that. Why would you want to be them? I’ve just never got what’s so great about people in magazines, why they’re (according to the popular view) so enviable. I mean, sure, they might be nice and they might have lots of friends. But what does that have to do with your life? I just don’t understand comparing yourself and finding a lack; if you’re unhappy with things in your life, work to change them, and if you can’t change them, work to find things that make it bearable, because life is far too short not to. All of which has nothing to do with the models in the magazines, who have their own lives and their own crap to deal with (no one’s life is an ideal; money and/or looks don’t get you happiness, being content in yourself does), and … well, yeah, I don’t get what one has to do with the other.

I’ve never found that “ideal” all that attractive either. If I’m attracted to someone who fits that ideal it’s because they’re an adorable and sweet and goofy person. (See: Kim Smith. Who is too skinny for my personal tastes, but omg she has such a pretty smile and is so darling and precious and sweet and can I keep her and feed her chocolate cake yet? *pine*) My type is flaily geeks, but I guess I’m most attracted to chubby girls who smile a lot. I love chubby girls who smile a lot, oh my gosh, they are my favourites. My boyfriend is not thin, and I like that ♥ (Neither is our girlfriend, and I like that a lot ♥!) And I have so many friends who are beautiful and sweet and lovely and did I mention beautiful who think they are too fat and/or generally unattractive, and sometimes I want to MAKE THEM STAND IN FRONT OF A MIRROR until they see what I see. Which is a beautiful, amazing woman. I just wish it wasn’t a fight to make them believe that.

In conclusion: the Hollywood Ideal can go screw itself. I like my nerds soft and curvy and Renaissance-ish.

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